I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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