Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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