Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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