this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro