Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.