Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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