Texts From Last Night

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  (816): View more from Missouri

  We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.

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  (816): We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs. http://tfl.nu/qooi
  Replies (24) Good night (4785) Bad night (981)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.

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  (647): if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are. http://tfl.nu/2i80
  Replies (6) Good night (5127) Bad night (664)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.

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  (765): There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break. http://tfl.nu/iu19
  Replies (13) Good night (1364) Bad night (4141)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?

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  (315): I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic? http://tfl.nu/satp
  Replies (23) Good night (4359) Bad night (1243)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job

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  (519): he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job http://tfl.nu/3g10
  Replies (8) Good night (905) Bad night (3810)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series

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  (402): Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series http://tfl.nu/c4pq
  Replies (13) Good night (3283) Bad night (1134)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.

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  (816): I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before. http://tfl.nu/94fr
  Replies (6) Good night (1568) Bad night (572)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt

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  (210): It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt http://tfl.nu/ws0p
  Replies (8) Good night (1239) Bad night (713)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?

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  (303): When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight? http://tfl.nu/mdtp
  Replies (4) Good night (1049) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.

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  (860): Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination. http://tfl.nu/sipx
  Replies (8) Good night (793) Bad night (445)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show

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  (775): Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show http://tfl.nu/uyql
  Replies (4) Good night (1325) Bad night (401)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?

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  (520): Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight? http://tfl.nu/4mcq
  Replies (3) Good night (928) Bad night (408)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?

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  (615): Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation? http://tfl.nu/r601
  Replies (2) Good night (341) Bad night (504)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  sidebar: i fucked your brother last night

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  (978): sidebar: i fucked your brother last night http://tfl.nu/vqyq
  Replies (2) Good night (517) Bad night (377)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad

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  (615): Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad http://tfl.nu/n2ij
  Replies (3) Good night (176) Bad night (558)

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