Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Apparently you make a good broom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): Apparently you make a good broom. http://tfl.nu/3otj
  Replies (8) Good night (616) Bad night (790)
• Favorite

  (710): View more from

  So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (710): So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : ) http://tfl.nu/fktm
  Replies (17) Good night (2906) Bad night (514)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot http://tfl.nu/44v5
  Replies (22) Good night (4393) Bad night (596)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk http://tfl.nu/jjss
  Replies (4) Good night (4904) Bad night (581)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me. http://tfl.nu/hdf0
  Replies (56) Good night (661) Bad night (5634)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack... (303): Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c? http://tfl.nu/og73
  Replies (16) Good night (5541) Bad night (1206)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful http://tfl.nu/oafq
  Replies (19) Good night (7348) Bad night (1047)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  So....maintenance found the bullethole.....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): So....maintenance found the bullethole..... http://tfl.nu/54el
  Replies (22) Good night (5370) Bad night (2346)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other http://tfl.nu/z80n
  Replies (14) Good night (1720) Bad night (4245)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding. http://tfl.nu/zvb5
  Replies (1) Good night (1625) Bad night (940)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (250): Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year http://tfl.nu/1qcg
  Replies (1) Good night (2313) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em http://tfl.nu/8kd5
  Replies (3) Good night (414) Bad night (1813)
• Favorite

  (587): View more from Alberta

  Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (587): Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature? http://tfl.nu/gy0w
  Replies (7) Good night (1314) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (262): You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days. http://tfl.nu/ufco
  Replies (1) Good night (454) Bad night (984)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (559): You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka http://tfl.nu/lf1o
  Replies (0) Good night (525) Bad night (223)

Randomize