Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(802): View more from Vermont

elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.

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(251): View more from Alabama

Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.

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(404): View more from Georgia

I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(772): View more from Florida

He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.

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(916): View more from California

I can already almost taste penis in my mouth

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(248): View more from Michigan

It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.

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(831): View more from California

my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.

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(707): View more from California

Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.

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