You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
