He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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