well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
