So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
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