i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
