I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
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Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
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Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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