we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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