exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
