my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
When are your genitals available?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
