I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
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