what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
