is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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