My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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