whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
pop tarts are not kleenex
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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