Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
The struggles of a small town man whore
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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