Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
