Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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