the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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