the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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