i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
