idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I wish you could order shots online.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
