She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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