Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I would ride that face into the sunset
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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