Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
