Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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