don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
home. puking in laundry basket.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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