Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
