Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
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