For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
