I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Yo dont text me then not text me
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
