she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
