I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
i now understand why vodka
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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