I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
