The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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