I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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