this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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