Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
