well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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