my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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