oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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