What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
