So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize