is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
