are you still at the devil's house?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
