Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
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We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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