I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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