next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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