And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize