just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I can text with my tongue
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
