ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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