ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
