C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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