I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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