mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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