fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
