Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
